Saturday, July 25, 2009

I like a guy with very crooked teeth. It bothers me. Is there a tactful way to initiate a talk about braces?

I know that it is superficial to be turned off by crooked teeth - I'm not perfect either - and I wouldn't stop dating him b/c of it since he has other amazing qualities, but I wanted advice on how I could tactfully broach the subject without hurting his feelings, or if I even can? I know he has always been self-conscious about this, he never smiles in pictures, getting them fixed would improve his self-confidence, and he has the money to do it. I just don't know if I can even say anything since the subject is so sensitive. I know most of you will say he deserves someone better than me for even asking this question, but please try to be kind in your answers.

I like a guy with very crooked teeth. It bothers me. Is there a tactful way to initiate a talk about braces?
Speaking as a guy with bad teeth (I am missing two right in front) this is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart.





I think it is very superficial to pay more attention to what is in his mouth than what is in his heart. If he is good to you and treats you nice then what difference does it make if his teeth are crooked?





Chances are he has already thought about braces a lot and maybe just hasn't gotten them for one reason or another. Those of us with bad teeth usually do think about it so you bringing it up is only going to make him self conscious no matter how you do it.





If it is that big an issue for you then just bring it up. Ask him and he will either respect your honesty or change his opinion of you for being so superficial.
Reply:just show him some people in magazines that have nice smiles...he should catch on!
Reply:Yea i would talk to him about it. you know tell him you had them or something or just sugest it, if i were you i wouldnt say anything till we were married or when we were really serious. otherwise it might really hurt them, uknow?





If you don't mind could you answer my latest question on here. much appreciated. im in need of a bit of help
Reply:you can start by talking about how certain traits get passed along by ancestors and then gradually get to the topic of why his teeth are crooked.
Reply:Yep. Either you like him or you don't. His teeth are none of your business. It's not your place to convince him to get braces. I'm sure he knows what his teeth look like, and he may be perfectly happy with them, or, maybe can't afford them.





In any case, butt out.
Reply:pretend u have 2 get some... itll start somthin bout teeth
Reply:Start dating him. THEN when you're his girlfriend and you guys are cuddling on the couch look up and say "Have you ever thought of getting braces, Baby? You'd look so cute and it's good for your teeth".


Try that.
Reply:Tell him you love him a lot. Then tell him exactly what you just told us. Honesty is the best policy! Most of the time anyway!
Reply:Look through his insurance and say "Hey, did you know your dental insurance covers orthodontics?!"
Reply:you're a very superficial person. if you liked the guy his teeth wouldn't bother you the way you are bothering me right now! Shut the hell up and find a guy who you don't feel you need to change in ANY way.
Reply:NO, i am sure he KNOWS he has crooked teeth since he has had them for all of his life.


Saying this to him will make him feel bad.
Reply:its tough, as he will be offended, but at least its something he can get fixed so I think because of that you should mention it.





If he had only one leg that would be a different story!
Reply:i would gently broach the subject by trying to take pics of the two of you, and then ask him to smile. if/when he doesn't, ask him *innocently* why he doesn't smile in pics. hopefully, when he answers, he'll say something about his teeth, at which time you should bring up braces, especially invisalign, which you can't see, and are essentially just retainers that you change every couple of weeks. good luck!
Reply:You should wait until you are completely comfortable around him and he is comfortable around you too. Get past the "awkward" stage in your relationship. and once you guys know eachother real well- you could bring it up nicely. If you know for sure that is why he isn't smiling in his pictures - once you know eachother real well - you should ask him why he never does. If he tells you - then suggest the clear type braces. It isn't mean to want to ask this. My husband waited a couple years to ask me. And I loved the idea cause I always hated my teeth.
Reply:Just bring up that you'd like to see him smile more and ask why he hasn't gotten braces if it bothers him- it's better to be honest than to skip around the question, that way you'll set the tone for the relationship and remember to back him up with it.
Reply:That's a tough one -- the only thing I can think of is if you both go have some sort of make-over together and let the attendant mention it to him and see what he says! Dental work can be pricey, so are you willing and able to help him out if he needs it?





I wish you well!
Reply:no...your not doing n e thing wrong. your trying to help him not put him down. you said he has the money and everything. so i would jus very nicely say....hey baby have you ever thought about gettin braces. you know. make it like very general question. like its no big deal...you know...
Reply:small appearance things shouldn't matter much if you love somebody





if he wants to get em fixed, be supportive and maybe help him get em fixed, if it really bothers you and he wants em fixed, just get a loan and fix em





if he is ok with his teeth and you are not, maybe you have to live with it
Reply:Some actors have crooked teeth it adds character, its whats inside that matters.
Reply:Are you his gf? or atleast a close friend?....if you are then if he can't talk to you about these kinda things then who can he talk to? I would slip an invisiline pamplet or something on his table or something so he can see it, he won't know that you put it there but it would get the idea in his head...and even if he doesn't get them, like you said ...you wouldn't stop dating him b/c of it.
Reply:I think you should definitely not initiate the conversation about his teeth. If he brings up the subject and speaks out about his insecurities, then you could tactfully suggest braces to "boost his confidence". But I definitely don't think you should bring that subject up yourself out of nowhere. It might make him feel even worse about his teeth, and perhaps he could even feel as if he isn't good enough for you either.
Reply:Are your teeth perfectly straight? If not, I would start by telling him that you are thinking about braces, or just going to the dentist to see what he can do to improve your smile. I would not say ONE WORD about his teeth unless he says something first. I am 25 and had braces put on 6 months ago. So for about 20 years, I was embarrassed by my smile and hated people telling me I should do this or that. I'm not dense. But there was always something. If it wasn't money, it was time. If it wasn't time, it was just embarrassment. Trust me, he knows the options out there and he has his reasons for not going. You telling him to get braces is not going to enlighten him one bit. Start out with yourself and if he sees that you are comfortable talking about his, then he might want to join. But don't force it on him.
Reply:Well I confess....If someone had teeth that weren't perfect..... I wouldn't date them. So I don't believe your superficial. Just trying to help. If it would help his confidence then try to tactfully approach the subject. Maybe find an informative article and leave it somewhere that he could find it. And there could be valid reasons to need something like this done. It can increase the risk of cavities.....


Hope all goes well..........
Reply:you said he doesn't smile in pictures that he is aware of it. maybe he would like to have the problem fixed but can't afford it. if you are willing to pay for him to have them fixed if you like him that much. i'm sure all you would have to do is bring up the subject that you'll pay. i'm sure he won't mind. i wouldn't. if i had a problem like that and the guy who liked me would like for me to have it fixed. if he payed i would. and i wouldn't take of fence to it. i would be greatful that he would pay in order for me to have a problem fixed that i had been struggling with. it would make me like him more.
Reply:Nice smiles are a must for me...so I would say have you ever thought about getting braces??? I am an open person and I have had to have them so who am I to talk about someone elses jacked up teeth....



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